Humility....

After almost missing my conference call with my writer's group due to daylight savings time, which AZ does not recognize, my day was good........ informative, bizarre, sad, enlightening, and fulfilling, but above all else humbling. My hubby and I trekked to the other side of town to Scottsdale Healthcare to the Virginia Piper Cancer center. Had it not been for the "cancer" part you would have thought it was a resort. Lush grounds, greeters at the door, friendly service....no foul odors..... We went because my surgeons told me it was a place that I could receive a "special" gift from a store called Tina's Treasures and they would be able to help me with choosing an appropriate bra and other undergarments. What I got was so much more.

I was immediately greeted by Mee (don't want to use names unless I have permission) and she was delightful. She took the card my doctor sent me with and asked a volunteer to get my "special gift." She then asked for my insurance card and driver's license. Being the New Yorker that I am, I asked why. She said, "oh whatever you get we will make sure the insurance company pays for it." I thought, hot diggity, I won't have to spend my light bill money on some falsies!

The volunteer emerged with this large tote bag filled with all kinds of items....2 pillows for each arm sewed by volunteers, a journal, water bottle, sunscreen, smaller tote bag, a recovery pin, and the best of all....a certificate for a massage!! Before I could take all of that in another very delightful woman, Cee came to get me and took me to a back room. Hubby sat and waited patiently with the PING reading materials we received from Sarah and James;)

Cee introduced me to the director of the store Bee where we chatted about what brought me there. Before I knew it Bee told me she was a 3 year survivor and had pulled her top and bra off for me to see "her work done." Now I normally don't touch a friends boobs until at least the 3rd meeting and probably would have said...."b***h put your shirt down!" but before you knew it I was holding her breasts and feeling the silicone! It would make for a great scene in a movie, just make sure Halle Berry plays me o.k.?......I surprise myself sometimes. It turns out Bee and I have more in common that we both bargained for that day...her surgical team will be my surgical team, so I got a birdseye view....literally of what "their finished work" looks like. She comforted me and reassured me that they were the best and would take care of me. It also turns out her husband works for a local college and may be in need of some instructors. Some fake boobs and a job prospect, who could ask for any more?

Then Cee told me she had numerous lumpectomies and could not bring herself to remove her entire breasts but she admired women who did. She made me sad. We didn't go into why she would not have her breasts removed she just looked like she didn't want to talk about it, so I know when to back off. Then another lady came in for some paperwork and she too was a survivor.

Every woman that worked their had their own story of loss and triumph and for the first time I felt like I was not alone. I have been feeling a little on the outside lately....needing help, asking for favors, making sure things are just "right" when my mom comes....not that she cares, and even though I have Kelly and Diane to turn to I still felt (feel) like nobody knows how defeated I really feel....I guess you will after reading this....

So I received a bra, camisole, and some falsies, all paid for by my insurance company. I asked Mee how does the insurance pay for it all and she said "we make sure they do." and winked. Ahh...a woman after my own heart, persuasion and threats! I was given an invitation to come back and be fitted for the silicone falsies after my surgery and was on my way.

We then headed to my surgeon's office where he went over the procedure, told me how my incision would be, told me to lean on friends and volunteers and not to vacuum. I thought he knew me better 'cause on a good day I don't vacuum! He even remembered that my hubby was out of work and asked how he was doing.....nobody ever asks how the spouse is doing they just assume he is a basket case, disconnected or clueless or all three sometimes at the same time.

Before I left Bee said something very profound to me. She said I have an "obligation" to tell others my story. WOW....an obligation? She said especially if I am teaching college age students, young or old, I need to tell them. People in my life, strangers, friends of friends.....now I will tell my students after the semester is over....my group can be easily distracted, and I never want my condition to give me excuses so I expect the same from them.

I read once that a humble heart is a sure fire sign that we acknowledge that GOD is the source of everything we are exposed to. Humility is about patience and discovery for me.....and this too will SAVE MY LIFE......