Well, I love my cousin so therefore I can forgive her....don't get it twisted, I'm still mad as hell, and will kick her ass (literally) when I see her next, it won't take much she's a skinny little thang....I'm just ready to forgive. I have to. If I am preparing my body for surgery and praying for my healing to occur in the least painful way possible, then that includes my heart. 1 John 4:8 teaches me GOD is love, so the implication is that WE must love....
I have done some excellent reading lately. Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book is straightforward, and reassuring. Not that my bible isn't, it's just this book was enlightening. I felt like she was talking directly to me. Thank you Kelly for telling me to get it:)If you know of anyone going through this ~ get them this book!!
I talked to some really good friends this weekend ~ Diane who called to just check on me....Lysette who made me laugh about her new obsession with Judge Hatchett:).....Donna who called me between running the kids and dinner.....and Lil who's mother in law went through this and gave me valuable information which she called unsolicited advice:) She told me to make it a priority to take prune juice due to the amount of gas in my tummy after surgery. Now that's information a doctor won't tell you!!! What a support community I have!! I am slowly realizing how important it is to let go of the small things like dishes, laundry, cleaning....they don't matter in the grand scheme of things. I am glad my desk is moved to my bedroom, 'cause the laundry and cleaning will drive me crazy if not done....I'm learning.....slowly.
So I am in school as well as working and taking care of a household....my advisor suggested that I take a medical leave from school...hahaha....he's a fool. Seriously, that's the only thing I am in control of and he wants to take it away. I feel like as long as I am able why not? It's not about pushing myself, it's about being productive. Yes I will rest, yes I will take it easy, yes I will allow my support community to do for me but I can't just be inactive. I can be active when I'm dead I say....don't take the one thing that I am and can do. I told him to take a mental health leave 'cause he was crazy.....anywho....
I went to church yesterday and my pastor talked about the simplicity of prayer. How prayer does not have to be this long soliloquy of ramblings. Be specific. GOD knows what's in your heart and soul but is he a mind reader? Probably, but we still need to be specific in prayer. So my prayer today is for total healing, that my surgeons hands are steady and that they use clean instruments (he said specific) and to take ALL the gauze out......SAVING MY LIFE.....
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Secrets....
So much has happened in the last 24 hours I can't see straight. I can't even write this morning. My twin cousin sister (yes it says exactly what I mean) has taken over for me. I will blog another time but for now here is a message from Paula:
March 6, 2009
When ignorance isn’t bliss
I hate family secrets! I truly, truly do. I realize that people make the best decisions that they can in the midst of circumstances (and I am no exception). I also know, from experience, that sometimes the secrets you find out are ones you wish you didn’t know. But sometimes, some times what you don’t know CAN hurt you. Here’s an example. One cousin in the family is diagnosed with a condition that leads to a double mastectomy. Meanwhile, another cousin was diagnosed and treated for the same condition, but said nothing to the first cousin about it. Now, I understand that some people prefer to keep their illnesses, medical conditions, and diagnoses private. I do not understand why, however, when it comes to breast issues particularly breast cancer (at any step, stage or phase), people are suddenly so closemouthed. I mean really. Some folks tell you about all the mediocre happenings in their lives, or worse yet, offer fake affection or interest in your life, but then when he or she has information that could potentially benefit you (i.e. medical information that might help save your life), you can’t pry their lips apart with a crowbar! Wtf? Yes, I said it. WTF?! For those of you who do not know what this means, ask.
There is a back story to the example I mentioned. Like the fact that the two cousins are not on friendly/speaking terms due to miscommunication regarding the planning of a family reunion. Emotions ran high, words (and emails and cross conversations) were exchanged, feelings were hurt, division ensued, and now, when it counts the most, this pathetic, non-communicative bullshit causes one cousin to go through a lumpectomy without the prayers and support of her extended family, and the other cousin, Kim, to face the loss of both breasts, with the prayers and support of her original, immediate, and extended family and friends. I put it to you the readers. Who is better off? Kim or my other cousin? What if my other cousin had shared, even casually, that she was having breast issues? What if Kim had gotten her mammogram six months earlier? I have had mammograms since the age of 32 because I noticed that something wasn’t right. Last fall, my doctors did additional tests after my mammogram because they “thought they saw something”. Look, ten years later, I still have tests done because I know that it could only be a matter of time before I am the one in Kim’s position, or my other cousin’s position (not that I would have known she ever faced such a dilemma except for a conversation between two other people). I tell you, all this round robin communication gets on my nerves. I am so sick of people talking all AROUND but never TO the people that they know they should be talking to directly. Again I ask wtf is wrong with this picture??
Personally, I don’t give a damn about the past. Yes, the past shapes and defines you, but it does not determine your final outcome. If we, as a family, are to survive through thick and thin, sickness and health, good times and bad times, then people need to start speaking up and talking about what is happening in their lives. WE ARE FAMILY! We may not like each other at times. We may get on each other’s last nerve. We may find out more than we ever bargained for or wanted to know, but WE ARE FAMILY. It should be enough to SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.....
March 6, 2009
When ignorance isn’t bliss
I hate family secrets! I truly, truly do. I realize that people make the best decisions that they can in the midst of circumstances (and I am no exception). I also know, from experience, that sometimes the secrets you find out are ones you wish you didn’t know. But sometimes, some times what you don’t know CAN hurt you. Here’s an example. One cousin in the family is diagnosed with a condition that leads to a double mastectomy. Meanwhile, another cousin was diagnosed and treated for the same condition, but said nothing to the first cousin about it. Now, I understand that some people prefer to keep their illnesses, medical conditions, and diagnoses private. I do not understand why, however, when it comes to breast issues particularly breast cancer (at any step, stage or phase), people are suddenly so closemouthed. I mean really. Some folks tell you about all the mediocre happenings in their lives, or worse yet, offer fake affection or interest in your life, but then when he or she has information that could potentially benefit you (i.e. medical information that might help save your life), you can’t pry their lips apart with a crowbar! Wtf? Yes, I said it. WTF?! For those of you who do not know what this means, ask.
There is a back story to the example I mentioned. Like the fact that the two cousins are not on friendly/speaking terms due to miscommunication regarding the planning of a family reunion. Emotions ran high, words (and emails and cross conversations) were exchanged, feelings were hurt, division ensued, and now, when it counts the most, this pathetic, non-communicative bullshit causes one cousin to go through a lumpectomy without the prayers and support of her extended family, and the other cousin, Kim, to face the loss of both breasts, with the prayers and support of her original, immediate, and extended family and friends. I put it to you the readers. Who is better off? Kim or my other cousin? What if my other cousin had shared, even casually, that she was having breast issues? What if Kim had gotten her mammogram six months earlier? I have had mammograms since the age of 32 because I noticed that something wasn’t right. Last fall, my doctors did additional tests after my mammogram because they “thought they saw something”. Look, ten years later, I still have tests done because I know that it could only be a matter of time before I am the one in Kim’s position, or my other cousin’s position (not that I would have known she ever faced such a dilemma except for a conversation between two other people). I tell you, all this round robin communication gets on my nerves. I am so sick of people talking all AROUND but never TO the people that they know they should be talking to directly. Again I ask wtf is wrong with this picture??
Personally, I don’t give a damn about the past. Yes, the past shapes and defines you, but it does not determine your final outcome. If we, as a family, are to survive through thick and thin, sickness and health, good times and bad times, then people need to start speaking up and talking about what is happening in their lives. WE ARE FAMILY! We may not like each other at times. We may get on each other’s last nerve. We may find out more than we ever bargained for or wanted to know, but WE ARE FAMILY. It should be enough to SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.....
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Wisdom.....
Okay, yesterday started off good, then went downhill......as promptly the stroke of 11am my BET cable station did not work. Calling the pin heads at the cable company doesn't work it only stresses me more....so I continue on my day, pick up my kids and what happens? My battery that I knew would die, died....okay, I get a new battery, they can't put it in, so I get the battery and try to go home....car won't start due to battery. I wait to get a jump and yup, my hubby who fixes everything, put my new battery in:) A man with a wrench is very sexy in case you don't know.......
I called the cable company today as my BET channel remains obstinate, yet letting another day go by where I can't find out who's the baby daddy, and this time I got smart. I figured since I took control of my health I can take control of my cable problem. So I called not wanting another "refresh signal", they can take that signal and shove it where the sun doesn't ever want to shine.....but I want a human being to come and fix my damn cable!! Will report tomorrow what they find.....I am beginning to think this this thing we call life is a conspiracy and when I find out who is behind it, I'm gonna kick their ass....My friend Sarah gave me an alternate outlet for my obsession with other people's problems...fmylife.com....when you think your having a bad day, there is always somebody doing worse....
Okay so ask me. Ask me what, ask me....anything. One of the things that froots my loops is when people ask other people about you. If you want to know about me, ask me! This morning as I was dropping my little darlings off at school and I was speaking to some mom's in the parking lot. I walked away to greet another friend for the morning and one mom who I don't know very well asked a friend of mine what was going on with me. She "heard" I was having surgery and wanted to know how me and my family were doing. Sounds innocent, but I was just talking to her less than 2 minutes prior....ask me about me. This is how rumors and the gossip mill starts. It's ridiculous to me that grown ass women act like children....where do we learn this behavior? Can we presume we are raised by wolves then handed over to our parents....it's either a ridiculous concept to believe that people do not have to talk behind your back or I'm overly sensitive right now....I do know the difference....So screw the people who can't ask me about me....but stop asking....I will never apologize for who I am and what I believe....ok I digress....I told you about my exchanges with "Christians" lately so maybe I am overly sensitive....
I did receive some major blessings yesterday, my friend Dena had her cleaning service call me to see what my needs would be before and after my surgery....the lady that called even let me know she and her partner were praying with me and for me....My children's teachers will do homework afterschool with my children Monday - Thursday so that when they come home, it's all about mommie:) My friend Yolande is organizing a dinner schedule....she and other mom's do not know how hard it is for me to ask for help and even appear to need help, but I have learned to shut my mouth and stop blocking my blessings......especially with Yolande because she never shuts up;) Amazing women surround me....
I read Marcus Buckingham all the time and if you don't know who he is I highly recommend ANY of his books. One of my school friends brought him up yesterday and hit a spot with me. I have the arrogance and audacity to believe I am going to be o.k. and emerge even stronger, self-confident and healthier.....might even bring sexy back:):) hahaha.....
I know this because I have wisdom. I read Proverbs 4:5-6 today where it tells us biblically to get wisdom and understanding.....
Wisdom allows me to see my life from the perspective of GOD but also intelligently make decisions that are best for me. Not everyone will agree with you all of the time. Not everyone will give you their total support ALL of the time....you would be looking at cult like behavior at this point, but people can understand you....I have gained wisdom that has allowed me to look at my situation with clarity and understanding.
No matter what I may be going through GOD's gift of wisdom is guiding my hand (sometimes off of the throat of another person) and SAVING MY LIFE.....
I called the cable company today as my BET channel remains obstinate, yet letting another day go by where I can't find out who's the baby daddy, and this time I got smart. I figured since I took control of my health I can take control of my cable problem. So I called not wanting another "refresh signal", they can take that signal and shove it where the sun doesn't ever want to shine.....but I want a human being to come and fix my damn cable!! Will report tomorrow what they find.....I am beginning to think this this thing we call life is a conspiracy and when I find out who is behind it, I'm gonna kick their ass....My friend Sarah gave me an alternate outlet for my obsession with other people's problems...fmylife.com....when you think your having a bad day, there is always somebody doing worse....
Okay so ask me. Ask me what, ask me....anything. One of the things that froots my loops is when people ask other people about you. If you want to know about me, ask me! This morning as I was dropping my little darlings off at school and I was speaking to some mom's in the parking lot. I walked away to greet another friend for the morning and one mom who I don't know very well asked a friend of mine what was going on with me. She "heard" I was having surgery and wanted to know how me and my family were doing. Sounds innocent, but I was just talking to her less than 2 minutes prior....ask me about me. This is how rumors and the gossip mill starts. It's ridiculous to me that grown ass women act like children....where do we learn this behavior? Can we presume we are raised by wolves then handed over to our parents....it's either a ridiculous concept to believe that people do not have to talk behind your back or I'm overly sensitive right now....I do know the difference....So screw the people who can't ask me about me....but stop asking....I will never apologize for who I am and what I believe....ok I digress....I told you about my exchanges with "Christians" lately so maybe I am overly sensitive....
I did receive some major blessings yesterday, my friend Dena had her cleaning service call me to see what my needs would be before and after my surgery....the lady that called even let me know she and her partner were praying with me and for me....My children's teachers will do homework afterschool with my children Monday - Thursday so that when they come home, it's all about mommie:) My friend Yolande is organizing a dinner schedule....she and other mom's do not know how hard it is for me to ask for help and even appear to need help, but I have learned to shut my mouth and stop blocking my blessings......especially with Yolande because she never shuts up;) Amazing women surround me....
I read Marcus Buckingham all the time and if you don't know who he is I highly recommend ANY of his books. One of my school friends brought him up yesterday and hit a spot with me. I have the arrogance and audacity to believe I am going to be o.k. and emerge even stronger, self-confident and healthier.....might even bring sexy back:):) hahaha.....
I know this because I have wisdom. I read Proverbs 4:5-6 today where it tells us biblically to get wisdom and understanding.....
Wisdom allows me to see my life from the perspective of GOD but also intelligently make decisions that are best for me. Not everyone will agree with you all of the time. Not everyone will give you their total support ALL of the time....you would be looking at cult like behavior at this point, but people can understand you....I have gained wisdom that has allowed me to look at my situation with clarity and understanding.
No matter what I may be going through GOD's gift of wisdom is guiding my hand (sometimes off of the throat of another person) and SAVING MY LIFE.....
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Spouses need support too....
Last night my hubby and I had a heart to heart. He expressed his fears and wondered for a moment...why MY wife? I reassured him that in this journey of life sometimes you are chosen to receive things that you don't want so it's just tag your it!!
We went through some scripture, specifically, Exodus 14:14 where it states, "The LORD himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still." And we are creatures of habit. We don't want to be still. We want to fight, work, do what we can. Being still is not an option.
What I realized about my hubby at that moment was that for our entire relationship he has always "fixed" things. He is a contractor and has a natural flair for creating and building but he "fixes" everything. The toilet, when our sons put cars in there to "see" how they would float....the garbage disposal, when my mom put potato peels in it (numerous times...she's not convinced that it clogs up because of that), my daughters boo boo when it's really only a scrape or new light fixtures to enhance the outside of our home.
This he cannot fix. He must rely on other men to fix it for him...what a blow. Not really to his ego, he doesn't have one, but just the reliance on someone else to make sure your family is safe is frightening. Again...it's the ebb and flow of life....sometimes we must give up that control and this is from a control freak.....hahahaha....I crack me up!!! So if you see him, give him a hug and reassure him that GOD is in control....
So today is turning out to be a good day....I am cooking a fabulous dinner for my family (just some chicken in the crock pot....hahaha) and have vowed to focus my energy on my family and friends in these few days before my surgery because when I come home I am not sure how much talking I will want to do....just going to let my body guide me. I am continuing to eliminate evil people from my life....one jackass at a time....and this will SAVE MY LIFE.....
We went through some scripture, specifically, Exodus 14:14 where it states, "The LORD himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still." And we are creatures of habit. We don't want to be still. We want to fight, work, do what we can. Being still is not an option.
What I realized about my hubby at that moment was that for our entire relationship he has always "fixed" things. He is a contractor and has a natural flair for creating and building but he "fixes" everything. The toilet, when our sons put cars in there to "see" how they would float....the garbage disposal, when my mom put potato peels in it (numerous times...she's not convinced that it clogs up because of that), my daughters boo boo when it's really only a scrape or new light fixtures to enhance the outside of our home.
This he cannot fix. He must rely on other men to fix it for him...what a blow. Not really to his ego, he doesn't have one, but just the reliance on someone else to make sure your family is safe is frightening. Again...it's the ebb and flow of life....sometimes we must give up that control and this is from a control freak.....hahahaha....I crack me up!!! So if you see him, give him a hug and reassure him that GOD is in control....
So today is turning out to be a good day....I am cooking a fabulous dinner for my family (just some chicken in the crock pot....hahaha) and have vowed to focus my energy on my family and friends in these few days before my surgery because when I come home I am not sure how much talking I will want to do....just going to let my body guide me. I am continuing to eliminate evil people from my life....one jackass at a time....and this will SAVE MY LIFE.....
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The countdown begins...
Today I was mad again. This time my target was Cox Communications. You see I have diverted my energy everyday from 11-1 to watching Judge Hatchett on BET. My sister friend Quiana has told me that my recent obsession with this show is abnormal and borders on delusional, but I have found great comfort in looking at other people's problems....it takes my mind (even for a short time) off of my own......
How ironic is it that all of my other channels worked except for BET? And at the time I needed to watch Judge Hatchett? So I did what any red blooded American would do....I called the cable company. After listening to rotten elevator music, and being transferred to a very nice lady....I was told there was nothing they could do for 1 channel. Now I have already expressed my need to control things so I was not taking that for an answer. I suggested that she add up all of the channels that I receive and divide them by the 2 hours or 120 minutes of entertainment that I was missing and that would suffice for me. After much debate and being put on hold 2 more times we settled on 5.00. Small price to concede to after not being able to watch other people deal with their issues in open court.....
I continue my journey with faith in reading Galatians 3:23-29 today. A friend of mine asked how do I choose the scripture I will read for the day and I told him that I open my bible and where it lands is where I read, or sometimes my dad, a theological history major gives me one to read....
What I read in these verses was how faith sets you free and unites us. I have a friend (EC) from school who offered to do something nice for my family....he is so kind....and I realized it is faith that connects us. He reminded me that I have friends and prayer so I take this to mean don't get bogged down with hectic schedules or global concerns, it will only cloud the pathway to victory!!
So tomorrow, I will watch Judge Hatchett and slip into total oblivion all the while keeping the faith, because this is what will SAVE MY LIFE....
How ironic is it that all of my other channels worked except for BET? And at the time I needed to watch Judge Hatchett? So I did what any red blooded American would do....I called the cable company. After listening to rotten elevator music, and being transferred to a very nice lady....I was told there was nothing they could do for 1 channel. Now I have already expressed my need to control things so I was not taking that for an answer. I suggested that she add up all of the channels that I receive and divide them by the 2 hours or 120 minutes of entertainment that I was missing and that would suffice for me. After much debate and being put on hold 2 more times we settled on 5.00. Small price to concede to after not being able to watch other people deal with their issues in open court.....
I continue my journey with faith in reading Galatians 3:23-29 today. A friend of mine asked how do I choose the scripture I will read for the day and I told him that I open my bible and where it lands is where I read, or sometimes my dad, a theological history major gives me one to read....
What I read in these verses was how faith sets you free and unites us. I have a friend (EC) from school who offered to do something nice for my family....he is so kind....and I realized it is faith that connects us. He reminded me that I have friends and prayer so I take this to mean don't get bogged down with hectic schedules or global concerns, it will only cloud the pathway to victory!!
So tomorrow, I will watch Judge Hatchett and slip into total oblivion all the while keeping the faith, because this is what will SAVE MY LIFE....
Monday, March 2, 2009
March 2, 2009
Today was busy...making lists, checking them twice....and I already know who's naughty and nice. People continue to get in my space and reduce my positive energy and today I refuse for that to happen. Today I reject anything resembling Satan and his merry band of idiots.....I had a great talk with some friends this weekend, Annitra, Diane and Deb and they made me laugh and promise to not keep my head above water but stand on top of the waterfall! I take heed and move forward....
Continuing my preparation.....Last night my hubby and I told the kids...here was the reaction ~ my oldest said since we are part Irish and my operation was on St. Patty's Day I would have the luck of the Irish on my side, my youngest son wanted to know how many days I would be boobless and to "stuff" my bra, nobody will know and my daughter...AKA mini/me wanted to know if she could take my old "tities" for show and tell. Do you see why I need to have this surgery? My kids are bright, funny, loving and some days difficult...but they are the reason I draw breathe. When I was younger my mom would tell me, "I hope you have 10 just like you" Well I have at least 2 just like me and would not trade them for the world:)
I was watching CNN today and a commentator was explaining the healthcare portion of the stimulus bill....I'm not going to get political, just hear me out. According to this woman, if you were released from your employment from Sept 1, 2008 to December 31, 2009 and had to go on a COBRA plan, the government will subsidize 65% of your premium.
Well hot damn I say, here comes my bailout!! And if this is true I say poo poo to all that don't agree....ya see our COBRA premium is a mortgage payment. To a family of 5 with only 1 person employed this is reason to celebrate. To all that believe this is welfare....I agree....I'm just not too proud to beg....Ya see I did not grow up on subsidies (although my Aunt Gracie would always find a block of gov't cheese to give us) but I won't knock people who did. If you are trying to do the best you can with what you have but need a little help, I say not only will I take it and run, I will do so with my head held high because I know my ancestors built this country on their backs and I've been paying taxes since I was 14 (first job in church rectory for 14.07 a week) so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's not the train trying to run me over....I also know that this place we are in is temporary. My husband will find work, I will be well and life will return to "normal" as we know it.
It's the ebb and flow of life....we will not stay stuck here for too long, a change is gonna come soon....I feel it. Call it a spiritual awakening I just feel it....
So I am strengthened by the power of faith....I will use it in my daily walk, my daily prayer, my yoga session (even if I can't cross my legs and arms the way they do on the tape) and eventually GOD will reveal his plan for me.....so in the mean time faith is the essential ingredient that will SAVE MY LIFE......
Continuing my preparation.....Last night my hubby and I told the kids...here was the reaction ~ my oldest said since we are part Irish and my operation was on St. Patty's Day I would have the luck of the Irish on my side, my youngest son wanted to know how many days I would be boobless and to "stuff" my bra, nobody will know and my daughter...AKA mini/me wanted to know if she could take my old "tities" for show and tell. Do you see why I need to have this surgery? My kids are bright, funny, loving and some days difficult...but they are the reason I draw breathe. When I was younger my mom would tell me, "I hope you have 10 just like you" Well I have at least 2 just like me and would not trade them for the world:)
I was watching CNN today and a commentator was explaining the healthcare portion of the stimulus bill....I'm not going to get political, just hear me out. According to this woman, if you were released from your employment from Sept 1, 2008 to December 31, 2009 and had to go on a COBRA plan, the government will subsidize 65% of your premium.
Well hot damn I say, here comes my bailout!! And if this is true I say poo poo to all that don't agree....ya see our COBRA premium is a mortgage payment. To a family of 5 with only 1 person employed this is reason to celebrate. To all that believe this is welfare....I agree....I'm just not too proud to beg....Ya see I did not grow up on subsidies (although my Aunt Gracie would always find a block of gov't cheese to give us) but I won't knock people who did. If you are trying to do the best you can with what you have but need a little help, I say not only will I take it and run, I will do so with my head held high because I know my ancestors built this country on their backs and I've been paying taxes since I was 14 (first job in church rectory for 14.07 a week) so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's not the train trying to run me over....I also know that this place we are in is temporary. My husband will find work, I will be well and life will return to "normal" as we know it.
It's the ebb and flow of life....we will not stay stuck here for too long, a change is gonna come soon....I feel it. Call it a spiritual awakening I just feel it....
So I am strengthened by the power of faith....I will use it in my daily walk, my daily prayer, my yoga session (even if I can't cross my legs and arms the way they do on the tape) and eventually GOD will reveal his plan for me.....so in the mean time faith is the essential ingredient that will SAVE MY LIFE......
Sunday, March 1, 2009
March 1, 2009
Today I am still mad....today my anger is toward the pimps we call insurance companies. I actually have been mad at them for sometime now, I am just getting around to expressing it.
My husband is without work, so we go on COBRA...(code name for pimp supplant).
The premium (codename for pimp reward) is a hefty amount each month but we pay it because we actually have no choice. You see my surgeons don't take the state offered insurance so no reason to drop COBRA and risk losing the best care possible....so I continue to be pimped.
The hospital has charged me a copay (codename for pimp receiver) which is an outrageous amount and you guessed it, we will pay because we have no other choice.
I am busting my hump to work and I thought FICA (codename for pimp master) was my only pimp....apparently not. You can be pimped by just about any industry known to man and it's perfectly legal in this country. Where's the justice?
I'm off that soapbox and today....I am preparing for my surgery in 16 days. How you say? I am going to eliminate caffeine and sugar from my diet. Drink lots of water and walk to expand my lungs. Ya see, anesthesia is not kind to my body and these things will lessen my reaction to them. It's not medical advice for everyone, just me.
I read the Book of Ruth today...hahaha....yup the whole book, about 4 pages:) And I learned that the loyalty and bond the women had in this chapter creates the authentic blessings we all experience in life. We have a special bond with women even if they are a size 6, long, shiny, flowing hair, and skin like silk. We say we hate them but we share a bond that is unmatched, even the male bond. Our bodies can do things men are incapable of doing and for that our bond is forever sealed. So to all of the women in my life, even the ignorant woman I wrote about yesterday ~ I say thank you. Particularly today to my sister friend Gina L. who taught me yoga in San Diego ~ I say thank you. Yoga has saved me from choking the s**t out of particular individuals recently and I have learned to uncross my legs with minimal discomfort:)
Prayer, Yoga and authentic female family, friends and strangers is turning out to be a part of what will SAVE MY LIFE.....
My husband is without work, so we go on COBRA...(code name for pimp supplant).
The premium (codename for pimp reward) is a hefty amount each month but we pay it because we actually have no choice. You see my surgeons don't take the state offered insurance so no reason to drop COBRA and risk losing the best care possible....so I continue to be pimped.
The hospital has charged me a copay (codename for pimp receiver) which is an outrageous amount and you guessed it, we will pay because we have no other choice.
I am busting my hump to work and I thought FICA (codename for pimp master) was my only pimp....apparently not. You can be pimped by just about any industry known to man and it's perfectly legal in this country. Where's the justice?
I'm off that soapbox and today....I am preparing for my surgery in 16 days. How you say? I am going to eliminate caffeine and sugar from my diet. Drink lots of water and walk to expand my lungs. Ya see, anesthesia is not kind to my body and these things will lessen my reaction to them. It's not medical advice for everyone, just me.
I read the Book of Ruth today...hahaha....yup the whole book, about 4 pages:) And I learned that the loyalty and bond the women had in this chapter creates the authentic blessings we all experience in life. We have a special bond with women even if they are a size 6, long, shiny, flowing hair, and skin like silk. We say we hate them but we share a bond that is unmatched, even the male bond. Our bodies can do things men are incapable of doing and for that our bond is forever sealed. So to all of the women in my life, even the ignorant woman I wrote about yesterday ~ I say thank you. Particularly today to my sister friend Gina L. who taught me yoga in San Diego ~ I say thank you. Yoga has saved me from choking the s**t out of particular individuals recently and I have learned to uncross my legs with minimal discomfort:)
Prayer, Yoga and authentic female family, friends and strangers is turning out to be a part of what will SAVE MY LIFE.....
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