Paranoia and patience.....

Okay, so my doc appointment was great.... sort of. He confirmed that I DON'T have lymphedema and that what I am experiencing is "normal"....swelling, pain and all. The bag of marbles under my arms are "normal" and the nubs where my breast used to be look good even if they hurt like hell. I have a new way of looking at my pain now. It's still temporary and I do not have additional issues to deal with....he also maintains that a stress free environment will allow me to heal sooner and healthier....I must remove all thoughts of choking stupid people and as they keep telling me...show the negative ones to the door....much better than choking....

I told him I was not self-diagnosing but I am not sure he believed me....in fact I'm sure he didn't believe me.....He looked over my stitches and was very pleased with himself....he even told me I was going to have great cleavage when my reconstruction was done.....If I could have bottled the look on Kevin's face I would have...priceless.....I'm considering selling tickets for a peek of my cleavage....not sure how many laws I will be breaking, but I would consider paying taxes on the income.....

I continue to be showered with love from my support community....the dinners especially are amazing. I will need to start doing some serious exercise because EVERYONE brings dessert, brownies being the consistent one and I will be 800 pounds if I don't stop soon. My doc also told me that I could travel to my writer's retreat in Boston at the end of the month so I have that to look forward to as long as my other doc says it's OK as well. I can't wait to be flying the friendly skies and receiving my writing nourishment!!

I did tell my students on Thursday and will tell my Tuesday group tomorrow. They were in awe, supportive and learned a lesson. I realized I had told everyone but them and I was doing them a serious disservice. They deserved to know and I am glad I told them. Who knows how many of the men which makeup more than 1/2 of my class will tell an important female in their life and how early detection can save lives. Who knows how many of the women will now go and get that checkup they have been putting off....

So in this moment I will have patience, lessen my paranoia and move into this week focused on healing and preparing myself for that fabulous cleavage I've been promised:) Moving along one day at a time...SAVING MY LIFE.....