February 28, 2009

Okay....17 days to go and my nightmare will be over. Today I am mad at cancer and Christians....yea yea I know what some of you will say....it's blasphemy! Well hold on to your britches before you begin to judge me, I might just be talking about your ass.

Now I am not talking about ALL Christians, just the inauthentic ones. You know them, they sit right next to you at church or live across the street from you. For example: A few weeks ago my neighbor was car jacked. The perpetrators were caught and at their preliminary hearing all of these people were coming out if the woodwork about how GOD fearing they were....yea, really? These young men not only pistol whipped the husband, they stole the car containing the specially made wheelchair and car seat for their mentally retarded daughter. Christians? Just not that day I suppose.

Christians in the last 2 days have questioned my decision to have this operation. One ignorant woman went so far as to ask, "isn't that elective surgery?" I simply stated, "Did you elect to be stupid?" I hope she never talks to me again, I have let people go before and will not hesitate to put you on the list for a comment like that. Some people reading this know who she is....I hope you pass this to her.

I am mad at cancer because it is not allowing me to fight my battles with fervor and tenacity. I am mad at cancer because my plan and purpose have been halted. I am mad at cancer period.....but through all of this I am faithful in the exercises of HIS judgement and not man's because GOD has a way of leveling the playing field for all of us.

You see, when the Pharoah attempted to trap and destroy the Israelites against the mighty Red Sea, his evil couldn't because the justice of GOD took over. In Daniel 13:1-63 Susanna would have died at the hands of two angry and hate filled men, but it was the justice of GOD that prevailed. In Job 42:10-17 he would have been forgotten had it not been for GOD's justice.
Here is what I know today....GOD's justice is activated like a fierce volcano for us because he genuinly loves us and wants our image to be in his likeness....now I fall short of this everyday. Some days I fall so short I roll down the hill and bump my head, keep rolling and keep bumping. I didn't mean to preach here I just was led to it....THE DEVIL IS A LIAR....

But in this journey I call life, some days I will feel threatened, looking at life and all it's possibilities as unfair, like today....but my faith is never halted. My faith is seeing me through. My faith allows me to experience the justice of GOD and this will SAVE MY LIFE.....