February 25, 2009 continued...

So my surgeon was tall, personable, not bad to look at (which is a good trait when you are touching my breast) and incredibly warm hearted. He spoke softly and succinctly, never using terms I needed a medical dictionary for and even showed me through a magnifying lens what he would be taking out. He did not wear a lab coat, which I noticed right away and he didn't have on those funny clogs that look like he was going to garden instead of perform surgery. By all accounts he was okeedokee by me.

The surgery was scheduled for January 15th and I was a nervous wreck until then. You see, prior this trip I have always been calm, cool and collected. I have a definitive yet free flowing set of thoughts and I am not afraid to tell people what I think because I think my opinion counts.
Well this time I was not in control so I found things that I could control. My schoolwork, (I am a Doctoral student for those who don't know)my household (children and husband included) and anything else that got in my path. I controlled it because on January 15th I would go to sleep, let this man, on that day, cut me open and hope he doesn't leave a sponge inside of me.

So the surgery, by all accounts was a success, I woke up with bandages and had the overwhelming urge to vomit. But I felt like it's time to take control again. I am not going to throw up in front of these nurses so that they can clean it up and talk about me when I left. Nope not me. I would just lay there till my mother got me dressed with that knot in safely in my throat. I didn't want to throw up in the car because it was my car....so I just held it.

I got home, slept a little and then my mom fed me lasagna and yup you guessed it....I spewed pasta and marinara right into a bucket that I prayed my husband did not need for something important. After about 2 rounds of this I was done. My mom...bless her heart....did not read where I could only have clear liquids for 24-48 hours...okay lesson learned. Ya see my need for control comes from her whether she admits it or not. She has old school ways and she comes from "the baby didn't eat so the baby need to be fed school". We won't be doing that again will we mom:)

After a few days I was up and about, received meals, flowers, cards and well wishes from friends and family. My follow up appointment was good, my margins were clear....a term used to signify that all of the yucky cells didn't have roots.....there was just one slight problem....The tissue they removed was not atypical hyperplasia, it was carcinoma in situ. In short this means cancer within the duct...I think it's Latin or something. Again I hear the Charlie Brown adults but I was healing well and a healthy dose of radiation was suggested as a preventative measure.

So I trot on over to the radiation oncologist and as nice as he was, tells me the procedure that I am a candidate for. Now this is important because many women do not necessarily know about the Brachy Therapy. Some are not candidates others are not offered I guess...but I'm here to tell ya, this method (in a different form of course) has been used on men for about 20+ years for prostate cancer and only on women for 5 or so. Go figure.... save the weenie at all costs....

This doctor sends me for a new mammogram and after about a week I get a phone call that I need to go back to my surgeon because the results are not favorable. What?? I thought they got it all? I thought my margins were clear? Now I was pissed. I wanted to cuss my surgeon out...all the nurses because I thought they should have had a sistah's back...and I was convinced I would be on CNN choking the hell out of him.

So I continue with my trot to my scheduled appointment and he stated the latest films were blurred and mumbled something about no diseased tissue seen and then I said okay doc, here's what were gonna do....send me to a different place for a digital mammo and we will talk afterwards.

The digital mammo was great....the machine is named the Lorad and I was able to see my throat it was so clear and have my reading immediately with the radiologist. Nope, no waiting and nervous as hell till the results come in. Great machine, I highly recommend you tell your radiologist to dispose of the antiquated machines and get this one....and when the next man invents a new one get that one too. You guys do know a man invented this right....no woman in her right or wrong mind would ever had conjured that machine up....

Okay, so after all of this I am at the point where I am now....not only did I have 1 lesion which the original radiologist saw, I have 2-3 significant lesions, and about 3-4 smaller ones. My options were discussed with me....1. To do nothing and "monitor" the lesions. I don't want my breasts to be "monitored" the government does enough of that...2. Have another lumpectomy and hope that after removing all of this tissue I will have no recurrences and "hope" I don't look deformed or 3. Retire these babies that are saggin', laggin', draggin' and baggin' and get a perky saline replacement which will SAVE MY LIFE.....