The time has come for me to give up the loaner boobs and receive my permanent ones. I will have another surgery on Thursday and get my B cups. My doc put me on a strict no medicine regimen which I almost didn’t follow. I could not sleep when I first returned from Alaska and really wanted something to take the edge off. I guess if I had been a drug addict I would have said screw the doc and did it anyway…well I’m not and I didn’t so I just stayed up and watched mindless TV till I fell asleep….
Speaking of which….TV ain’t what it used to be. I guess in the last 2 years of graduate school I have missed the entire whoop over reality TV. Who loves who and just about anybody can get a talk show huh? How many kids do you need for a reality show? Eight seems to be the magic number…CNN replays the same stories and some of the other news shows are too angry for me…..I miss Michael Jackson too, I just don’t need to hear it all day……every day…..all day…..
So let me tell the dumbest thing I did story….I was tired of my underarms looking like one of the Geico cavemen and I did not get the results I wanted with a razor so I got some neet….well my underarms were hotter than the devil and I burned my skin…yup I said burned. My doc says my underarms are really sensitive as some lymph nodes were removed on either side and I must stick to razors…when my skin heals of course. I have used aloe vera and cocoa butter and just today am I seeing results, as the dead skin is peeling and the layer underneath can be free….I know….I could get my own reality show….the dumbest things surgical patients do!! If it makes me some dough and I don’t have to take my clothes off (on camera), I’m all for it….hahahaha….
These next 3 days will be spent sending a son off to sleep away camp, getting my kids their new uniforms for school, cooking some of my favorite meals to freeze and making my house comfy for when I return from the hospital. I am told I will be down for another week, but I’m gonna try and get that cut to about 4.5 days…I’ve got things to do….hahaha….I’m still working on that patience and control issue….keeping in mind this is all to SAVE MY LIFE……
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Back in the Lower 48
Well I can scratch Alaska off of my bucket list!!! I am back in the lower 48 (that’s Alaskan talk…hahaha) and had a wonderful experience in Anchorage. Our travel to Anchorage was uneventful with a straight flight from Phoenix. I cramped a little but walked around and stretched my feet.
The people were friendly and had a slow-moving way about them, but generally friendly. I was there for a leadership conference and it was apparent that the locals did not see many professional black women in that area. I’m not being overly sensitive; this was indicative of the stares and many questions wherever we went.
We went site seeing in the mountains and saw the glaciers. It was a breathtaking experience. We rented a car with some other sorority sisters and drove a little over an hour to take a boat tour. I hardly listened to the tour guide or captain as nature spoke for itself.
The rest of the week was spent in meetings so not much for touring. The locale cuisine was quite the experience. The fish was fresh and big….I would make a joke but thought better of it….anywho….the only complaint I have was the service. Because of the relaxed attitude, we were pushing it for lunch most days with a hectic schedule. The food was well worth the wait, just not when you only have a short time to eat.
The one thing that I could not get used to was the 20 hours of freakin’ daylight!! I didn’t know whether to get up or go to bed. It was bizarre!! At 10 pm the sun is shining and if you don’t watch out you could get a second wind and end up in the snack aisle at Walmart….I know this from experience…..
The travel back to the lower 48 (I love the sound that the lower 48 makes on my tongue…teeheehee)…I wonder what we call Alaska instead of Alaska, the upper 1? Naw....anywho our trip back was well….less than uneventful. After having to repack in the line because mom bought too much stuff, I was tired!! Our flight left Anchorage headed to LAX at midnight….note to self…NEVER fly into LAX. Our flight was cancelled, no other flights could accommodate us from LAX, mom and I were tired from flying all night, she was hungry and cussin’ and I swear if it had not been for my current medical situation, I might have slapped someone, in fact I know I would have. Yoga has been good to me.....
Customer service was a joke and unless you talked like you had some sense no one was willing to help you. Luckily for me and them I have sense. I calmed mom down told her to sit down and shut up and handled business. I got us on a late afternoon flight out of Orange County, a free shuttle to OC and now I am tucked safely in my bed. I will end today by saying what we all know….GOD is good and SAVING MY LIFE……
The people were friendly and had a slow-moving way about them, but generally friendly. I was there for a leadership conference and it was apparent that the locals did not see many professional black women in that area. I’m not being overly sensitive; this was indicative of the stares and many questions wherever we went.
We went site seeing in the mountains and saw the glaciers. It was a breathtaking experience. We rented a car with some other sorority sisters and drove a little over an hour to take a boat tour. I hardly listened to the tour guide or captain as nature spoke for itself.
The rest of the week was spent in meetings so not much for touring. The locale cuisine was quite the experience. The fish was fresh and big….I would make a joke but thought better of it….anywho….the only complaint I have was the service. Because of the relaxed attitude, we were pushing it for lunch most days with a hectic schedule. The food was well worth the wait, just not when you only have a short time to eat.
The one thing that I could not get used to was the 20 hours of freakin’ daylight!! I didn’t know whether to get up or go to bed. It was bizarre!! At 10 pm the sun is shining and if you don’t watch out you could get a second wind and end up in the snack aisle at Walmart….I know this from experience…..
The travel back to the lower 48 (I love the sound that the lower 48 makes on my tongue…teeheehee)…I wonder what we call Alaska instead of Alaska, the upper 1? Naw....anywho our trip back was well….less than uneventful. After having to repack in the line because mom bought too much stuff, I was tired!! Our flight left Anchorage headed to LAX at midnight….note to self…NEVER fly into LAX. Our flight was cancelled, no other flights could accommodate us from LAX, mom and I were tired from flying all night, she was hungry and cussin’ and I swear if it had not been for my current medical situation, I might have slapped someone, in fact I know I would have. Yoga has been good to me.....
Customer service was a joke and unless you talked like you had some sense no one was willing to help you. Luckily for me and them I have sense. I calmed mom down told her to sit down and shut up and handled business. I got us on a late afternoon flight out of Orange County, a free shuttle to OC and now I am tucked safely in my bed. I will end today by saying what we all know….GOD is good and SAVING MY LIFE……
Monday, July 13, 2009
So I am traveling with my mom today…she’s treating me to a trip to Alaska. Our sorority has a national leadership conference to be held in Anchorage and she chose me as her travel companion. I love my mom. Not just because of this trip but because she actually loves me…unconditionally.
The one thing that I reflect on when I travel is being certain about my relationship with GOD. I don’t know if it’s because I will be away from my kids or the dependence on the pilots to take off and land the big bird safely….probably a combination of both.
When you are certain about your relationship with your higher power you know where you will spend eternity. Hahaha…I may be bad but I’m not going to bust the gates of hell open anytime soon!! Many people think Christianity is about a blind leap of faith. For me it has actually been a combination of intellect, emotions and will. When you have an intellectual understanding of something, you can look upon it from the historical perspective all the way to living through faith. When I get back I will learn when my implant surgery is and just like I have faith in the sober pilots (yes, I check and ask) will get me to my destination safely, I have faith my doctors will schedule this surgery quickly….and with that I am off to Alaska, going to have a fabulous time still….SAVING MY LIFE…..
The one thing that I reflect on when I travel is being certain about my relationship with GOD. I don’t know if it’s because I will be away from my kids or the dependence on the pilots to take off and land the big bird safely….probably a combination of both.
When you are certain about your relationship with your higher power you know where you will spend eternity. Hahaha…I may be bad but I’m not going to bust the gates of hell open anytime soon!! Many people think Christianity is about a blind leap of faith. For me it has actually been a combination of intellect, emotions and will. When you have an intellectual understanding of something, you can look upon it from the historical perspective all the way to living through faith. When I get back I will learn when my implant surgery is and just like I have faith in the sober pilots (yes, I check and ask) will get me to my destination safely, I have faith my doctors will schedule this surgery quickly….and with that I am off to Alaska, going to have a fabulous time still….SAVING MY LIFE…..
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The light at the end of the tunnel....
....and it's not the train trying to run me over....So yesterday was my last fill!! Yup, I’m done getting poked and prodded…. I am done. My doc wanted to talk me into getting a small C cup….I said no…ya see I’m still in control. He tries to be in control and some things I cannot get a handle on as much as I try, but my new bra cup size I can. Control is such a nasty trait and I’m working on it, but some things I am not willing to compromise on. I have 500cc’s of saline and I’m good. Now, my skin must rest for 3 weeks and then my consultation for the implant surgery. I don’t know why we could not consult yesterday, I was there, he was there, and even my hubby was there. What’s there to consult about? You take out the expander's; you put in my saline monuments to the world, sew me up and keep going….all this meeting and consulting is getting on my nerves. I’m starting to get impatient again. I just want this to be over.
Speaking of hubby….and I mean what I am about to say in the most loving way….is a pain in the ass to take grocery shopping. I can do the normal shopping but when we go to Sam’s Club I am ready to strangle him. I think he gets excited when he sees the big boxes and bundles of socks. He places things in the cart that are not on the list and then I either take them out or give him a look to take the item out. He pouts like a kid when he can’t have the 800 pound box of Oreos and makes it his mission to find every free sample he can….twice. I like to have my list go in get what I need and leave. He likes to browse the aisles; not missing the samples and picks up anything that catches his eye….it’s annoying as hell. I love him dearly, he puts up with my crazy ass BUT I cannot wait until the day I can go to Sam’s Club alone….
I cannot believe summer is ½ way over…the kids are continuing their summer activities to include summer school which surprisingly they like and I continue to heal. Even though I am impatient and feeling like I need to gain control of everything moving in my life, I continue to pray and summon up the wisdom of spirituality and faith. I am continually exploring diverse pathways to that spiritual fulfillment and vow not to do anything I don’t want to do. This includes invitations for July 4th…I want to be at home, with my family end of story. I get tired of people not understanding why I don’t want to do some thing’s or go certain places. I simply don’t want to….hahaha….I have actually always been like this it’s just been enhanced in the last 6 months. I still struggle with finding meaning in this experience and quiet time at home will allow me to achieve personal growth as well. I have been hyper focused on school, getting assignments done early and I like that feeling. So, if I’m not where people think I should be this weekend, I am actually where I want to be. Remembering that my faith has been the compass to guide me through this is….SAVING MY LIFE….
Speaking of hubby….and I mean what I am about to say in the most loving way….is a pain in the ass to take grocery shopping. I can do the normal shopping but when we go to Sam’s Club I am ready to strangle him. I think he gets excited when he sees the big boxes and bundles of socks. He places things in the cart that are not on the list and then I either take them out or give him a look to take the item out. He pouts like a kid when he can’t have the 800 pound box of Oreos and makes it his mission to find every free sample he can….twice. I like to have my list go in get what I need and leave. He likes to browse the aisles; not missing the samples and picks up anything that catches his eye….it’s annoying as hell. I love him dearly, he puts up with my crazy ass BUT I cannot wait until the day I can go to Sam’s Club alone….
I cannot believe summer is ½ way over…the kids are continuing their summer activities to include summer school which surprisingly they like and I continue to heal. Even though I am impatient and feeling like I need to gain control of everything moving in my life, I continue to pray and summon up the wisdom of spirituality and faith. I am continually exploring diverse pathways to that spiritual fulfillment and vow not to do anything I don’t want to do. This includes invitations for July 4th…I want to be at home, with my family end of story. I get tired of people not understanding why I don’t want to do some thing’s or go certain places. I simply don’t want to….hahaha….I have actually always been like this it’s just been enhanced in the last 6 months. I still struggle with finding meaning in this experience and quiet time at home will allow me to achieve personal growth as well. I have been hyper focused on school, getting assignments done early and I like that feeling. So, if I’m not where people think I should be this weekend, I am actually where I want to be. Remembering that my faith has been the compass to guide me through this is….SAVING MY LIFE….
Monday, June 29, 2009
Laughing....
I thought we could all use a laugh and my dear friend Diane sent me this so I am passing it on. I would only change Margarita for Martini....but that's me. Enjoy!!
Subject: Important Women's Health Issue-please read, I care about you!!!
* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
* Do you suffer from shyness?
* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas. Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas. Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include: - Dizziness - Nausea - Vomiting - Incarceration - Erotic lustfulness - Loss of motor control - Loss of clothing - Loss of money - Loss of virginity - Table dancing - Headache - Dehydration - Dry mouth - And a desire to sing Karaoke
WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. Please share this with other women who may need Margaritas. Thank you.
Subject: Important Women's Health Issue-please read, I care about you!!!
* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
* Do you suffer from shyness?
* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas. Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas. Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include: - Dizziness - Nausea - Vomiting - Incarceration - Erotic lustfulness - Loss of motor control - Loss of clothing - Loss of money - Loss of virginity - Table dancing - Headache - Dehydration - Dry mouth - And a desire to sing Karaoke
WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. Please share this with other women who may need Margaritas. Thank you.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Love and Loss
My goodness what a difference a day makes. Michael Jackson dead at the tender age of 50. So talented, iconic….a bit weird but that’s what made him special….his musical talent that is. I still remember my grandmother taking me to the Apollo Theatre to see the Jackson 5 when I was 11. The next time I saw MJ was at Madison Square Garden with the other fans screaming to the top of my lungs. The last time with an equal scream factor as the last 2 concerts…was the Victory tour at the Atlanta Omni….yup I am a bonafide fan. I pray for his children and family.
One of MJ’s songs was man in the mirror where he talks about before you can do good in your life or the world you must take a look at yourself and make that change…..oh how I can relate. Serious illness has a way of bringing to the forefront change. One of the 7 gifts from the Holy Spirit is understanding. One thing I know to be true….we exist because it is GOD’s will for us to do so.
My plan and purpose has become to praise him and give him thanks daily….you can’t do that without understanding. So much time is spent seeking approval from everybody other than the one entity that is responsible for our existence…I am learning that when I fail to understand that GOD’s love is enough, that he will see me through the storm, my life’s mission is failed. Learning to understand, resolving to reflect about love and loss is SAVING MY LIFE….
One of MJ’s songs was man in the mirror where he talks about before you can do good in your life or the world you must take a look at yourself and make that change…..oh how I can relate. Serious illness has a way of bringing to the forefront change. One of the 7 gifts from the Holy Spirit is understanding. One thing I know to be true….we exist because it is GOD’s will for us to do so.
My plan and purpose has become to praise him and give him thanks daily….you can’t do that without understanding. So much time is spent seeking approval from everybody other than the one entity that is responsible for our existence…I am learning that when I fail to understand that GOD’s love is enough, that he will see me through the storm, my life’s mission is failed. Learning to understand, resolving to reflect about love and loss is SAVING MY LIFE….
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Busy, busy, busy....
Happy Father’s Day to all of the Daddies who take care of their babies. To the ones that don’t man up and handle your business. This has been a busy, productive, demanding and just downright hectic week. Between the kids activities and my trying to have meetings and complete some assignments….just hectic. Last Sunday I was working on a paper….so my dear hubby took the kids bowling (with free coupons of course) and whaddya know…they were having a bowl-a-thon for breast cancer. My daughter ended up being team captain and my boys were her team players….I hate I missed it but had to finish my schoolwork….my kids came home proud that in their words “contributed to the cause”….heard that somewhere did ya? So my week started off with going to the doctor on Monday…went earlier in the week because scheduling was going to be a bear….he informed me that I must take a week off to let my skin stretch properly and he says I’m pushing myself to hard….what does he know? He wouldn’t even let me make appt with his wife….he’s being unreasonable I told him…he says he’s not….patted me on the head like a dog, smiled and sent me on my way. I can’t stand him….
So after I leave him disappointed knowing my next injection would not be for 2 weeks I went to see the wicked skinny witch of a nutritionist. The first thing she said was did you do your homework. Homework? I know she asked me a question which I did not completely answer, but was I really supposed to complete homework? This is not supposed to be a job for me…I’m paying her….rather insurance is…. Anywho….we talked about my relationship with food and basically, I eat because I want to. I don’t have any past trauma that I am hiding from…I freakin’ like the taste of food and different textures. I am obsessed with salt and need to cut down on my sugar. I have only been fat for about 6 years this has not been a lifelong struggle and intellectually I know what I need to do. She said she thinks it’s more to it….but she wanted to move on and not push it…..that was best for her. Between her and my doc I’m feeling a little ambushed and I’m gonna kick somebody’s ass…soon….so she felt the vibe and retreated.
My good friend Sarah told me about the biggest loser cookbook….am I a big loser ‘cause I can’t lose weight? Hahaha I pulled some recipes and will try them. She texted me this week and said she had the fried chicken from the book….can’t imagine fried chicken without the flour and lard, but I like to try new things so what the heck….
My cousin doctor Carol told me about Alli, I looked into it, it’s like antabuse for fat people. This pill has disturbing effects if you don’t take it right or eat properly….like you will poop on yourself….uh….I think not…..I’m liable to forget and be the “butt” of jokes and everything unnatural….I will stay with the eating right with low fat foods for now thank you.
Had a slight bit of drama as well….this person who will remain nameless because I cannot pay for a defamation lawsuit was providing a service for my family since I had my second surgery. Well….because we have moved our kids to a different school this hag cut the service off!! Didn’t even have the balls to tell me, the service people did!! No worries, the Hunley house is fine. I guess what bothers me is that I never asked this person to do this for me and now they believe they have the upper hand….they obviously don’t know me that well…hahaha…they need to read Isaiah 58:11 where it talks about how the Lord will always lead you OR Romans 12:2 where it states not to be like others and GOD will decide what is right for you OR 1 Peter 5:10 which tells me that after a point of suffering GOD who gives the grace will make everything right again OR James 5:16 and I quote “When a believing person prays, great things happen”. So while people are obviously still upset with me for making a decision about MY kids they feel they are hurting me by doing stupid s&%t like this….ok wallow in your wounds if you will I am moving up and on….SAVING MY LIFE……
So after I leave him disappointed knowing my next injection would not be for 2 weeks I went to see the wicked skinny witch of a nutritionist. The first thing she said was did you do your homework. Homework? I know she asked me a question which I did not completely answer, but was I really supposed to complete homework? This is not supposed to be a job for me…I’m paying her….rather insurance is…. Anywho….we talked about my relationship with food and basically, I eat because I want to. I don’t have any past trauma that I am hiding from…I freakin’ like the taste of food and different textures. I am obsessed with salt and need to cut down on my sugar. I have only been fat for about 6 years this has not been a lifelong struggle and intellectually I know what I need to do. She said she thinks it’s more to it….but she wanted to move on and not push it…..that was best for her. Between her and my doc I’m feeling a little ambushed and I’m gonna kick somebody’s ass…soon….so she felt the vibe and retreated.
My good friend Sarah told me about the biggest loser cookbook….am I a big loser ‘cause I can’t lose weight? Hahaha I pulled some recipes and will try them. She texted me this week and said she had the fried chicken from the book….can’t imagine fried chicken without the flour and lard, but I like to try new things so what the heck….
My cousin doctor Carol told me about Alli, I looked into it, it’s like antabuse for fat people. This pill has disturbing effects if you don’t take it right or eat properly….like you will poop on yourself….uh….I think not…..I’m liable to forget and be the “butt” of jokes and everything unnatural….I will stay with the eating right with low fat foods for now thank you.
Had a slight bit of drama as well….this person who will remain nameless because I cannot pay for a defamation lawsuit was providing a service for my family since I had my second surgery. Well….because we have moved our kids to a different school this hag cut the service off!! Didn’t even have the balls to tell me, the service people did!! No worries, the Hunley house is fine. I guess what bothers me is that I never asked this person to do this for me and now they believe they have the upper hand….they obviously don’t know me that well…hahaha…they need to read Isaiah 58:11 where it talks about how the Lord will always lead you OR Romans 12:2 where it states not to be like others and GOD will decide what is right for you OR 1 Peter 5:10 which tells me that after a point of suffering GOD who gives the grace will make everything right again OR James 5:16 and I quote “When a believing person prays, great things happen”. So while people are obviously still upset with me for making a decision about MY kids they feel they are hurting me by doing stupid s&%t like this….ok wallow in your wounds if you will I am moving up and on….SAVING MY LIFE……
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