Community

I think I am going to get a grant to have a wing of ANY hospital named after the Hunley family. Last Wednesday my oldest son goes to the emergency room with a toe the size of a golf ball. Yup, the same son that broke his finger a few months ago……he had a hairline fracture which will heal in a couple of weeks, thank goodness. Until then, he has to tape the neighbor toe to the bum toe…they call it ‘buddy taping’ and he has crutches if he needs them. I’m thinking the Hunleys’ need a healthcare bailout reform overhaul…geez….

So my hubby and I go to a new parent meeting at the kids new school and it looked more like a reunion because of all of the families….good families….that have transferred their children. One thing that made me sad was that I feel like we are starting over. We were set in our community and comfortable. Now we are uprooted and starting anew. But isn’t that what life is about? I know a little something about change....The community is strong and the families were welcoming, something that I have missed in the last year or so.

The first day of school was wonderful. The children were greeted by teachers, aides, staff and clergy. It was great. The parents were treated to coffee and snacks….this is what community is all about and as long as my kids are comfortable, happy, adjusted…then Mommy is happy. Oh yea…the school has a clothing closet. All used uniforms can be retrieved from the closet and all they ask in return is that when your kids outgrow the uniforms, as long as they look decent, just donate them back. I wish I would have known before I spent $$$ on new uniforms!!! I told a girlfriend back East who is the PTA president and she thought this was such a great idea it was implemented right away. This is what community is all about…..

My doc appt this week went well. He will take out my stitches next week and then I begin another round of physical therapy. This time for longer. Not having raised my arms above my head for some time now has been rather uncomfortable but hey…the alternative was worse. I also meet the evil nutritionist next week. She’s supposed to give me recipes. If they don’t have butter in them I know they will be nasty. Ya see, butter to me is the greatest natural wonder. It might be the 8th wonder of the world….if not I should nominate it as such. The smooth creamy texture, lightly salted taste is simply heaven. I love it on popcorn, fish, bread….just about everything. One might say I’m addicted. I really believe it’s Love:) So while I feel good, inside and out, trying to stay sane in a crazy world, keeping my family safe and trying my best to get on that treadmill….I have to remember it’s all in an effort to……SAVE MY LIFE……

Hand up or hand out?

I received a phone call from the hospital asking me how the service was. You don’t get a card in the mail to fill out anymore a real live person calls and asks your opinion. I told the person my pee pee story and could swear I felt a smile over the phone. I let her know that while I thought it was common for this to happen, a note to the patient or family that they had just messed their pants would be nice. In addition, if they could supply you with some disposable drawers that could add to the level of customer service received….just a thought.

So I get my bandages off and my boobs are not exactly what I thought they would be. They are firm, but the swelling is overshadowing the perkiness and I don’t have a real nipple. I know TMI….I have a flap of skin hanging from each boob in preparation for the nipple. It’s quite an intricate process one that I am learning to embrace. I actually thought I would care what I look like….but I don’t. My come to Jesus meeting some weeks ago has me focused on inner beauty. It’s nice to feel like a woman again, even if it’s not all the way, but it’s better to be alive than care what my boobs look like….

So what’s all the hoopla over healthcare? I received an email from someone today regarding President Obama’s plan on healthcare and how bad it is. First let me say if anybody sends out political emails from your work address please stop. Your company is paying you to work. Second, do the research on who you are sending the email to. If anyone needed a health care plan it’s the Hunley house and I could care less whose name is attached to it. This is not ignorance….it’s desperation. This is not about democrat or republican it’s about saving a life. Socialism? Hahaha….what is Medicare? Medicaid? Food Stamps? VA benefits? Section 8 housing? As my friend Quiana says…the U.S. government is the biggest master planned community this planet has. I don’t think what she said is funny it’s just the truth….

I haven’t always been a part of the needy in America…..and I currently have a great job. It’s just that our society would rather pay millions to athletes than teachers. So since I have no chance of making the defensive line for the Cardinals, you know the short thing gets in the way….I’ll stick to teaching.

So the lesson I gave this person is while you want me to believe that a plan that was so called generated by President Obama is some sort of evil plot to move our society into socialism, I say doing nothing will lead me into poverty. The Kennedy bill (I said I wasn’t ignorant) is 1000 pages long and hopefully someone who is voting on this bill will read it, tweak it and oh heaven’s yes actually pass it. I do not plan on being in my financial situation forever, but my goodness while I am there does it have to be a horrible experience because I need help? So if you have a job, great, if you have healthcare, greater….don’t begrudge me because I ask for help in….SAVING MY LIFE…

Happy and healing...

Well I am upright and lucid and that’s all I can ask for right now. My surgery went well, I am having minimal pain…really only discomfort and as long as I stay on this side of the dirt I am doing ok. There are some personal parts to this blog entry so you might want to remove small children before reading and limit your liquids as you might find yourself laughing and spewing…..

The night before I go into the hospital I get a message from a friend of mine. Let me preface this message by saying what NOT to do before someone you love goes into the hospital for her 3rd major surgery. Ok…my friend leaves me a message stating she is having a rough day. She was downsized a few weeks ago; she did get a severance and has not been able to get a job. Now, while I empathize with her…I snapped. I told her to stop her silly whining…suck it up and flip burgers if she had to. My hubby has been out of work for 8 months, I’ve got unopened medical bills, preparing for my 3rd surgery and 3 kids in private school…do your sniveling on somebody else’s time. Now, we are old college buddies and I can say this to her, but this should be a lesson to not let your personal problems seep into a person who is about to go under the knife in less than 24 hours. I could have talked behind her back, but I would rather tell it how it is. Keep in mind….negativity is a sure fire way to stop getting invited to events…..

So, I show up bright eyed and bushy tailed for my surgery and even drove myself…keeping that control until the last minute. Check in was a breeze and I was on the gurney within 30 minutes of arrival. By the way, I went to a different hospital because I was given the choice to. Because I owe the other hospital I decided not to make waves and go to a different hospital. Sounds trifling, but it was actually very methodical. By the time I need to pay my copay to the new hospital I will have paid the balance at the old hospital. Yup, thought out well in my mind….

The nurse comes in and hooks me up to the IV, the anesthesiologist comes in and my only request to both of them was to not give me the same s*&t that killed MJ. They laughed but I was serious. I told my nurse if you see my anesthesia guy walking the halls after I have been hooked up…call security.

I was awakened in the recovery room by a screaming baby who had just received tubes in her ears. Not the best way to wake up but hell….I WOKE UP….my stomach was queasy and they gave me some stale crackers and warm 7up. The nurse asked me how I felt and I must have mouthed I wanna go home 3 or 4 times till she got it. My throat hurt from the dang tube and that baby was still screaming after what seemed like a really long time!! My mom helped me get dressed, and we noticed a towel between my legs. There was no visible liquid so we brushed it off. My hubby got the car and off I went. Upon further examination of where the towel was situated, when I got home I noticed my undies were wet…yup I peed on myself on the operating table. Am I embarrassed?…nope, they have seen worse I’m sure. Am I mad? yup and I’ll tell ya why.

Now, I blame myself because I should have went before they wheeled me in…the last 2 times I did and I guess I just forgot this time. What really ticked me off was that the nurses sent me home like that!! The least they could have done was pin a note to my gown so the ones I love would have been prepared, but all I was left with was a towel between my legs. Very cruel indeed….I will be including that on my comment card….

My doctor wanted me to be as active as I could and I have been doing a fair share of resting and staying upright. I am wrapped tight like Beyonce in a Versace gown and I get 2 hour intervals of sleep. I received Vicodin this time but just like the Percocet it makes me see strange things and certain parts of my body feel numb so I only take it at night.

Ephesians 5:15-17 tells me that we are to live purposefully using wisdom as sensible and intelligent people. This means to make the most of the time we are given on this earth and not brood over trivial things or things we cannot change. My mission going forward is to make time alone for GOD to know how to use my time while SAVING MY LIFE….

Learning from mistakes....

The time has come for me to give up the loaner boobs and receive my permanent ones. I will have another surgery on Thursday and get my B cups. My doc put me on a strict no medicine regimen which I almost didn’t follow. I could not sleep when I first returned from Alaska and really wanted something to take the edge off. I guess if I had been a drug addict I would have said screw the doc and did it anyway…well I’m not and I didn’t so I just stayed up and watched mindless TV till I fell asleep….

Speaking of which….TV ain’t what it used to be. I guess in the last 2 years of graduate school I have missed the entire whoop over reality TV. Who loves who and just about anybody can get a talk show huh? How many kids do you need for a reality show? Eight seems to be the magic number…CNN replays the same stories and some of the other news shows are too angry for me…..I miss Michael Jackson too, I just don’t need to hear it all day……every day…..all day…..

So let me tell the dumbest thing I did story….I was tired of my underarms looking like one of the Geico cavemen and I did not get the results I wanted with a razor so I got some neet….well my underarms were hotter than the devil and I burned my skin…yup I said burned. My doc says my underarms are really sensitive as some lymph nodes were removed on either side and I must stick to razors…when my skin heals of course. I have used aloe vera and cocoa butter and just today am I seeing results, as the dead skin is peeling and the layer underneath can be free….I know….I could get my own reality show….the dumbest things surgical patients do!! If it makes me some dough and I don’t have to take my clothes off (on camera), I’m all for it….hahahaha….

These next 3 days will be spent sending a son off to sleep away camp, getting my kids their new uniforms for school, cooking some of my favorite meals to freeze and making my house comfy for when I return from the hospital. I am told I will be down for another week, but I’m gonna try and get that cut to about 4.5 days…I’ve got things to do….hahaha….I’m still working on that patience and control issue….keeping in mind this is all to SAVE MY LIFE……

Back in the Lower 48

Well I can scratch Alaska off of my bucket list!!! I am back in the lower 48 (that’s Alaskan talk…hahaha) and had a wonderful experience in Anchorage. Our travel to Anchorage was uneventful with a straight flight from Phoenix. I cramped a little but walked around and stretched my feet.

The people were friendly and had a slow-moving way about them, but generally friendly. I was there for a leadership conference and it was apparent that the locals did not see many professional black women in that area. I’m not being overly sensitive; this was indicative of the stares and many questions wherever we went.

We went site seeing in the mountains and saw the glaciers. It was a breathtaking experience. We rented a car with some other sorority sisters and drove a little over an hour to take a boat tour. I hardly listened to the tour guide or captain as nature spoke for itself.

The rest of the week was spent in meetings so not much for touring. The locale cuisine was quite the experience. The fish was fresh and big….I would make a joke but thought better of it….anywho….the only complaint I have was the service. Because of the relaxed attitude, we were pushing it for lunch most days with a hectic schedule. The food was well worth the wait, just not when you only have a short time to eat.

The one thing that I could not get used to was the 20 hours of freakin’ daylight!! I didn’t know whether to get up or go to bed. It was bizarre!! At 10 pm the sun is shining and if you don’t watch out you could get a second wind and end up in the snack aisle at Walmart….I know this from experience…..

The travel back to the lower 48 (I love the sound that the lower 48 makes on my tongue…teeheehee)…I wonder what we call Alaska instead of Alaska, the upper 1? Naw....anywho our trip back was well….less than uneventful. After having to repack in the line because mom bought too much stuff, I was tired!! Our flight left Anchorage headed to LAX at midnight….note to self…NEVER fly into LAX. Our flight was cancelled, no other flights could accommodate us from LAX, mom and I were tired from flying all night, she was hungry and cussin’ and I swear if it had not been for my current medical situation, I might have slapped someone, in fact I know I would have. Yoga has been good to me.....

Customer service was a joke and unless you talked like you had some sense no one was willing to help you. Luckily for me and them I have sense. I calmed mom down told her to sit down and shut up and handled business. I got us on a late afternoon flight out of Orange County, a free shuttle to OC and now I am tucked safely in my bed. I will end today by saying what we all know….GOD is good and SAVING MY LIFE……

So I am traveling with my mom today…she’s treating me to a trip to Alaska. Our sorority has a national leadership conference to be held in Anchorage and she chose me as her travel companion. I love my mom. Not just because of this trip but because she actually loves me…unconditionally.

The one thing that I reflect on when I travel is being certain about my relationship with GOD. I don’t know if it’s because I will be away from my kids or the dependence on the pilots to take off and land the big bird safely….probably a combination of both.

When you are certain about your relationship with your higher power you know where you will spend eternity. Hahaha…I may be bad but I’m not going to bust the gates of hell open anytime soon!! Many people think Christianity is about a blind leap of faith. For me it has actually been a combination of intellect, emotions and will. When you have an intellectual understanding of something, you can look upon it from the historical perspective all the way to living through faith. When I get back I will learn when my implant surgery is and just like I have faith in the sober pilots (yes, I check and ask) will get me to my destination safely, I have faith my doctors will schedule this surgery quickly….and with that I am off to Alaska, going to have a fabulous time still….SAVING MY LIFE…..

The light at the end of the tunnel....

....and it's not the train trying to run me over....So yesterday was my last fill!! Yup, I’m done getting poked and prodded…. I am done. My doc wanted to talk me into getting a small C cup….I said no…ya see I’m still in control. He tries to be in control and some things I cannot get a handle on as much as I try, but my new bra cup size I can. Control is such a nasty trait and I’m working on it, but some things I am not willing to compromise on. I have 500cc’s of saline and I’m good. Now, my skin must rest for 3 weeks and then my consultation for the implant surgery. I don’t know why we could not consult yesterday, I was there, he was there, and even my hubby was there. What’s there to consult about? You take out the expander's; you put in my saline monuments to the world, sew me up and keep going….all this meeting and consulting is getting on my nerves. I’m starting to get impatient again. I just want this to be over.
Speaking of hubby….and I mean what I am about to say in the most loving way….is a pain in the ass to take grocery shopping. I can do the normal shopping but when we go to Sam’s Club I am ready to strangle him. I think he gets excited when he sees the big boxes and bundles of socks. He places things in the cart that are not on the list and then I either take them out or give him a look to take the item out. He pouts like a kid when he can’t have the 800 pound box of Oreos and makes it his mission to find every free sample he can….twice. I like to have my list go in get what I need and leave. He likes to browse the aisles; not missing the samples and picks up anything that catches his eye….it’s annoying as hell. I love him dearly, he puts up with my crazy ass BUT I cannot wait until the day I can go to Sam’s Club alone….
I cannot believe summer is ½ way over…the kids are continuing their summer activities to include summer school which surprisingly they like and I continue to heal. Even though I am impatient and feeling like I need to gain control of everything moving in my life, I continue to pray and summon up the wisdom of spirituality and faith. I am continually exploring diverse pathways to that spiritual fulfillment and vow not to do anything I don’t want to do. This includes invitations for July 4th…I want to be at home, with my family end of story. I get tired of people not understanding why I don’t want to do some thing’s or go certain places. I simply don’t want to….hahaha….I have actually always been like this it’s just been enhanced in the last 6 months. I still struggle with finding meaning in this experience and quiet time at home will allow me to achieve personal growth as well. I have been hyper focused on school, getting assignments done early and I like that feeling. So, if I’m not where people think I should be this weekend, I am actually where I want to be. Remembering that my faith has been the compass to guide me through this is….SAVING MY LIFE….