Fruit....

So as I slowly come out of my denial….the light at the end of the tunnel is dim but not black. I have been swamped with work, kids and school to where I just shut down, lived through my procrastination and acted like I was in control. This is worse than actually being in control because you’re not really in control. Now that I have emerged here’s what I need to do: Stop saying YES when I really need to say NO.

Because I did not want to work on the 2 syllabi I need I told a friend I would help with her resume. I should have told her NO and sent her to a resume writer. Because I did not want to work on chapter 1 of my dissertation, I went to lunch twice in 1 week. They were bonafide business meetings but I could have said, NO, send me the notes I have work to do. Because I did not want to read articles for my dissertation I took a nap.

Procrastination has a nasty hold on me and it’s not good. I did read the material my nutritionist gave me and in one of the pamphlets it stated I am at a higher risk of getting cancer in another part of my body than I was before. I really think that heifer is trying to scare me. First the fruit message, now this…..speaking of the fruit….the whole thing has me freaked out….. …organically grown fruit…versus pesticides….got me wondering about the toxic people I have let go in my life….I have had to assess who are the organic people in my life versus the people who possess attributes of those nasty pesticides….I still have a few more to let go from that list and they know who they are. Even though I have procrastinated about my work, I am getting my personal life in order.

To me, having good friends is like breathing…it requires a conscious awareness of relaxation and a deep exhale. Friendship should not be stressful. If anyone gives me anxiety or pain I have strayed away from them. Now that’s not to say if I have not called any of you in a while this means you….hahaha….it just means I am busy. I just think the pesticides need to be replaced with organic, authentic people. In Galatians 5:22-23, it says “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." So the fruit I bear will always be organic…..while SAVING MY LIFE…….