The time has come for me to give up the loaner boobs and receive my permanent ones. I will have another surgery on Thursday and get my B cups. My doc put me on a strict no medicine regimen which I almost didn’t follow. I could not sleep when I first returned from Alaska and really wanted something to take the edge off. I guess if I had been a drug addict I would have said screw the doc and did it anyway…well I’m not and I didn’t so I just stayed up and watched mindless TV till I fell asleep….
Speaking of which….TV ain’t what it used to be. I guess in the last 2 years of graduate school I have missed the entire whoop over reality TV. Who loves who and just about anybody can get a talk show huh? How many kids do you need for a reality show? Eight seems to be the magic number…CNN replays the same stories and some of the other news shows are too angry for me…..I miss Michael Jackson too, I just don’t need to hear it all day……every day…..all day…..
So let me tell the dumbest thing I did story….I was tired of my underarms looking like one of the Geico cavemen and I did not get the results I wanted with a razor so I got some neet….well my underarms were hotter than the devil and I burned my skin…yup I said burned. My doc says my underarms are really sensitive as some lymph nodes were removed on either side and I must stick to razors…when my skin heals of course. I have used aloe vera and cocoa butter and just today am I seeing results, as the dead skin is peeling and the layer underneath can be free….I know….I could get my own reality show….the dumbest things surgical patients do!! If it makes me some dough and I don’t have to take my clothes off (on camera), I’m all for it….hahahaha….
These next 3 days will be spent sending a son off to sleep away camp, getting my kids their new uniforms for school, cooking some of my favorite meals to freeze and making my house comfy for when I return from the hospital. I am told I will be down for another week, but I’m gonna try and get that cut to about 4.5 days…I’ve got things to do….hahaha….I’m still working on that patience and control issue….keeping in mind this is all to SAVE MY LIFE……
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Back in the Lower 48
Well I can scratch Alaska off of my bucket list!!! I am back in the lower 48 (that’s Alaskan talk…hahaha) and had a wonderful experience in Anchorage. Our travel to Anchorage was uneventful with a straight flight from Phoenix. I cramped a little but walked around and stretched my feet.
The people were friendly and had a slow-moving way about them, but generally friendly. I was there for a leadership conference and it was apparent that the locals did not see many professional black women in that area. I’m not being overly sensitive; this was indicative of the stares and many questions wherever we went.
We went site seeing in the mountains and saw the glaciers. It was a breathtaking experience. We rented a car with some other sorority sisters and drove a little over an hour to take a boat tour. I hardly listened to the tour guide or captain as nature spoke for itself.
The rest of the week was spent in meetings so not much for touring. The locale cuisine was quite the experience. The fish was fresh and big….I would make a joke but thought better of it….anywho….the only complaint I have was the service. Because of the relaxed attitude, we were pushing it for lunch most days with a hectic schedule. The food was well worth the wait, just not when you only have a short time to eat.
The one thing that I could not get used to was the 20 hours of freakin’ daylight!! I didn’t know whether to get up or go to bed. It was bizarre!! At 10 pm the sun is shining and if you don’t watch out you could get a second wind and end up in the snack aisle at Walmart….I know this from experience…..
The travel back to the lower 48 (I love the sound that the lower 48 makes on my tongue…teeheehee)…I wonder what we call Alaska instead of Alaska, the upper 1? Naw....anywho our trip back was well….less than uneventful. After having to repack in the line because mom bought too much stuff, I was tired!! Our flight left Anchorage headed to LAX at midnight….note to self…NEVER fly into LAX. Our flight was cancelled, no other flights could accommodate us from LAX, mom and I were tired from flying all night, she was hungry and cussin’ and I swear if it had not been for my current medical situation, I might have slapped someone, in fact I know I would have. Yoga has been good to me.....
Customer service was a joke and unless you talked like you had some sense no one was willing to help you. Luckily for me and them I have sense. I calmed mom down told her to sit down and shut up and handled business. I got us on a late afternoon flight out of Orange County, a free shuttle to OC and now I am tucked safely in my bed. I will end today by saying what we all know….GOD is good and SAVING MY LIFE……
The people were friendly and had a slow-moving way about them, but generally friendly. I was there for a leadership conference and it was apparent that the locals did not see many professional black women in that area. I’m not being overly sensitive; this was indicative of the stares and many questions wherever we went.
We went site seeing in the mountains and saw the glaciers. It was a breathtaking experience. We rented a car with some other sorority sisters and drove a little over an hour to take a boat tour. I hardly listened to the tour guide or captain as nature spoke for itself.
The rest of the week was spent in meetings so not much for touring. The locale cuisine was quite the experience. The fish was fresh and big….I would make a joke but thought better of it….anywho….the only complaint I have was the service. Because of the relaxed attitude, we were pushing it for lunch most days with a hectic schedule. The food was well worth the wait, just not when you only have a short time to eat.
The one thing that I could not get used to was the 20 hours of freakin’ daylight!! I didn’t know whether to get up or go to bed. It was bizarre!! At 10 pm the sun is shining and if you don’t watch out you could get a second wind and end up in the snack aisle at Walmart….I know this from experience…..
The travel back to the lower 48 (I love the sound that the lower 48 makes on my tongue…teeheehee)…I wonder what we call Alaska instead of Alaska, the upper 1? Naw....anywho our trip back was well….less than uneventful. After having to repack in the line because mom bought too much stuff, I was tired!! Our flight left Anchorage headed to LAX at midnight….note to self…NEVER fly into LAX. Our flight was cancelled, no other flights could accommodate us from LAX, mom and I were tired from flying all night, she was hungry and cussin’ and I swear if it had not been for my current medical situation, I might have slapped someone, in fact I know I would have. Yoga has been good to me.....
Customer service was a joke and unless you talked like you had some sense no one was willing to help you. Luckily for me and them I have sense. I calmed mom down told her to sit down and shut up and handled business. I got us on a late afternoon flight out of Orange County, a free shuttle to OC and now I am tucked safely in my bed. I will end today by saying what we all know….GOD is good and SAVING MY LIFE……
Monday, July 13, 2009
So I am traveling with my mom today…she’s treating me to a trip to Alaska. Our sorority has a national leadership conference to be held in Anchorage and she chose me as her travel companion. I love my mom. Not just because of this trip but because she actually loves me…unconditionally.
The one thing that I reflect on when I travel is being certain about my relationship with GOD. I don’t know if it’s because I will be away from my kids or the dependence on the pilots to take off and land the big bird safely….probably a combination of both.
When you are certain about your relationship with your higher power you know where you will spend eternity. Hahaha…I may be bad but I’m not going to bust the gates of hell open anytime soon!! Many people think Christianity is about a blind leap of faith. For me it has actually been a combination of intellect, emotions and will. When you have an intellectual understanding of something, you can look upon it from the historical perspective all the way to living through faith. When I get back I will learn when my implant surgery is and just like I have faith in the sober pilots (yes, I check and ask) will get me to my destination safely, I have faith my doctors will schedule this surgery quickly….and with that I am off to Alaska, going to have a fabulous time still….SAVING MY LIFE…..
The one thing that I reflect on when I travel is being certain about my relationship with GOD. I don’t know if it’s because I will be away from my kids or the dependence on the pilots to take off and land the big bird safely….probably a combination of both.
When you are certain about your relationship with your higher power you know where you will spend eternity. Hahaha…I may be bad but I’m not going to bust the gates of hell open anytime soon!! Many people think Christianity is about a blind leap of faith. For me it has actually been a combination of intellect, emotions and will. When you have an intellectual understanding of something, you can look upon it from the historical perspective all the way to living through faith. When I get back I will learn when my implant surgery is and just like I have faith in the sober pilots (yes, I check and ask) will get me to my destination safely, I have faith my doctors will schedule this surgery quickly….and with that I am off to Alaska, going to have a fabulous time still….SAVING MY LIFE…..
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The light at the end of the tunnel....
....and it's not the train trying to run me over....So yesterday was my last fill!! Yup, I’m done getting poked and prodded…. I am done. My doc wanted to talk me into getting a small C cup….I said no…ya see I’m still in control. He tries to be in control and some things I cannot get a handle on as much as I try, but my new bra cup size I can. Control is such a nasty trait and I’m working on it, but some things I am not willing to compromise on. I have 500cc’s of saline and I’m good. Now, my skin must rest for 3 weeks and then my consultation for the implant surgery. I don’t know why we could not consult yesterday, I was there, he was there, and even my hubby was there. What’s there to consult about? You take out the expander's; you put in my saline monuments to the world, sew me up and keep going….all this meeting and consulting is getting on my nerves. I’m starting to get impatient again. I just want this to be over.
Speaking of hubby….and I mean what I am about to say in the most loving way….is a pain in the ass to take grocery shopping. I can do the normal shopping but when we go to Sam’s Club I am ready to strangle him. I think he gets excited when he sees the big boxes and bundles of socks. He places things in the cart that are not on the list and then I either take them out or give him a look to take the item out. He pouts like a kid when he can’t have the 800 pound box of Oreos and makes it his mission to find every free sample he can….twice. I like to have my list go in get what I need and leave. He likes to browse the aisles; not missing the samples and picks up anything that catches his eye….it’s annoying as hell. I love him dearly, he puts up with my crazy ass BUT I cannot wait until the day I can go to Sam’s Club alone….
I cannot believe summer is ½ way over…the kids are continuing their summer activities to include summer school which surprisingly they like and I continue to heal. Even though I am impatient and feeling like I need to gain control of everything moving in my life, I continue to pray and summon up the wisdom of spirituality and faith. I am continually exploring diverse pathways to that spiritual fulfillment and vow not to do anything I don’t want to do. This includes invitations for July 4th…I want to be at home, with my family end of story. I get tired of people not understanding why I don’t want to do some thing’s or go certain places. I simply don’t want to….hahaha….I have actually always been like this it’s just been enhanced in the last 6 months. I still struggle with finding meaning in this experience and quiet time at home will allow me to achieve personal growth as well. I have been hyper focused on school, getting assignments done early and I like that feeling. So, if I’m not where people think I should be this weekend, I am actually where I want to be. Remembering that my faith has been the compass to guide me through this is….SAVING MY LIFE….
Speaking of hubby….and I mean what I am about to say in the most loving way….is a pain in the ass to take grocery shopping. I can do the normal shopping but when we go to Sam’s Club I am ready to strangle him. I think he gets excited when he sees the big boxes and bundles of socks. He places things in the cart that are not on the list and then I either take them out or give him a look to take the item out. He pouts like a kid when he can’t have the 800 pound box of Oreos and makes it his mission to find every free sample he can….twice. I like to have my list go in get what I need and leave. He likes to browse the aisles; not missing the samples and picks up anything that catches his eye….it’s annoying as hell. I love him dearly, he puts up with my crazy ass BUT I cannot wait until the day I can go to Sam’s Club alone….
I cannot believe summer is ½ way over…the kids are continuing their summer activities to include summer school which surprisingly they like and I continue to heal. Even though I am impatient and feeling like I need to gain control of everything moving in my life, I continue to pray and summon up the wisdom of spirituality and faith. I am continually exploring diverse pathways to that spiritual fulfillment and vow not to do anything I don’t want to do. This includes invitations for July 4th…I want to be at home, with my family end of story. I get tired of people not understanding why I don’t want to do some thing’s or go certain places. I simply don’t want to….hahaha….I have actually always been like this it’s just been enhanced in the last 6 months. I still struggle with finding meaning in this experience and quiet time at home will allow me to achieve personal growth as well. I have been hyper focused on school, getting assignments done early and I like that feeling. So, if I’m not where people think I should be this weekend, I am actually where I want to be. Remembering that my faith has been the compass to guide me through this is….SAVING MY LIFE….
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