I thought we could all use a laugh and my dear friend Diane sent me this so I am passing it on. I would only change Margarita for Martini....but that's me. Enjoy!!
Subject: Important Women's Health Issue-please read, I care about you!!!
* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
* Do you suffer from shyness?
* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas. Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas. Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include: - Dizziness - Nausea - Vomiting - Incarceration - Erotic lustfulness - Loss of motor control - Loss of clothing - Loss of money - Loss of virginity - Table dancing - Headache - Dehydration - Dry mouth - And a desire to sing Karaoke
WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. Please share this with other women who may need Margaritas. Thank you.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Love and Loss
My goodness what a difference a day makes. Michael Jackson dead at the tender age of 50. So talented, iconic….a bit weird but that’s what made him special….his musical talent that is. I still remember my grandmother taking me to the Apollo Theatre to see the Jackson 5 when I was 11. The next time I saw MJ was at Madison Square Garden with the other fans screaming to the top of my lungs. The last time with an equal scream factor as the last 2 concerts…was the Victory tour at the Atlanta Omni….yup I am a bonafide fan. I pray for his children and family.
One of MJ’s songs was man in the mirror where he talks about before you can do good in your life or the world you must take a look at yourself and make that change…..oh how I can relate. Serious illness has a way of bringing to the forefront change. One of the 7 gifts from the Holy Spirit is understanding. One thing I know to be true….we exist because it is GOD’s will for us to do so.
My plan and purpose has become to praise him and give him thanks daily….you can’t do that without understanding. So much time is spent seeking approval from everybody other than the one entity that is responsible for our existence…I am learning that when I fail to understand that GOD’s love is enough, that he will see me through the storm, my life’s mission is failed. Learning to understand, resolving to reflect about love and loss is SAVING MY LIFE….
One of MJ’s songs was man in the mirror where he talks about before you can do good in your life or the world you must take a look at yourself and make that change…..oh how I can relate. Serious illness has a way of bringing to the forefront change. One of the 7 gifts from the Holy Spirit is understanding. One thing I know to be true….we exist because it is GOD’s will for us to do so.
My plan and purpose has become to praise him and give him thanks daily….you can’t do that without understanding. So much time is spent seeking approval from everybody other than the one entity that is responsible for our existence…I am learning that when I fail to understand that GOD’s love is enough, that he will see me through the storm, my life’s mission is failed. Learning to understand, resolving to reflect about love and loss is SAVING MY LIFE….
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Busy, busy, busy....
Happy Father’s Day to all of the Daddies who take care of their babies. To the ones that don’t man up and handle your business. This has been a busy, productive, demanding and just downright hectic week. Between the kids activities and my trying to have meetings and complete some assignments….just hectic. Last Sunday I was working on a paper….so my dear hubby took the kids bowling (with free coupons of course) and whaddya know…they were having a bowl-a-thon for breast cancer. My daughter ended up being team captain and my boys were her team players….I hate I missed it but had to finish my schoolwork….my kids came home proud that in their words “contributed to the cause”….heard that somewhere did ya? So my week started off with going to the doctor on Monday…went earlier in the week because scheduling was going to be a bear….he informed me that I must take a week off to let my skin stretch properly and he says I’m pushing myself to hard….what does he know? He wouldn’t even let me make appt with his wife….he’s being unreasonable I told him…he says he’s not….patted me on the head like a dog, smiled and sent me on my way. I can’t stand him….
So after I leave him disappointed knowing my next injection would not be for 2 weeks I went to see the wicked skinny witch of a nutritionist. The first thing she said was did you do your homework. Homework? I know she asked me a question which I did not completely answer, but was I really supposed to complete homework? This is not supposed to be a job for me…I’m paying her….rather insurance is…. Anywho….we talked about my relationship with food and basically, I eat because I want to. I don’t have any past trauma that I am hiding from…I freakin’ like the taste of food and different textures. I am obsessed with salt and need to cut down on my sugar. I have only been fat for about 6 years this has not been a lifelong struggle and intellectually I know what I need to do. She said she thinks it’s more to it….but she wanted to move on and not push it…..that was best for her. Between her and my doc I’m feeling a little ambushed and I’m gonna kick somebody’s ass…soon….so she felt the vibe and retreated.
My good friend Sarah told me about the biggest loser cookbook….am I a big loser ‘cause I can’t lose weight? Hahaha I pulled some recipes and will try them. She texted me this week and said she had the fried chicken from the book….can’t imagine fried chicken without the flour and lard, but I like to try new things so what the heck….
My cousin doctor Carol told me about Alli, I looked into it, it’s like antabuse for fat people. This pill has disturbing effects if you don’t take it right or eat properly….like you will poop on yourself….uh….I think not…..I’m liable to forget and be the “butt” of jokes and everything unnatural….I will stay with the eating right with low fat foods for now thank you.
Had a slight bit of drama as well….this person who will remain nameless because I cannot pay for a defamation lawsuit was providing a service for my family since I had my second surgery. Well….because we have moved our kids to a different school this hag cut the service off!! Didn’t even have the balls to tell me, the service people did!! No worries, the Hunley house is fine. I guess what bothers me is that I never asked this person to do this for me and now they believe they have the upper hand….they obviously don’t know me that well…hahaha…they need to read Isaiah 58:11 where it talks about how the Lord will always lead you OR Romans 12:2 where it states not to be like others and GOD will decide what is right for you OR 1 Peter 5:10 which tells me that after a point of suffering GOD who gives the grace will make everything right again OR James 5:16 and I quote “When a believing person prays, great things happen”. So while people are obviously still upset with me for making a decision about MY kids they feel they are hurting me by doing stupid s&%t like this….ok wallow in your wounds if you will I am moving up and on….SAVING MY LIFE……
So after I leave him disappointed knowing my next injection would not be for 2 weeks I went to see the wicked skinny witch of a nutritionist. The first thing she said was did you do your homework. Homework? I know she asked me a question which I did not completely answer, but was I really supposed to complete homework? This is not supposed to be a job for me…I’m paying her….rather insurance is…. Anywho….we talked about my relationship with food and basically, I eat because I want to. I don’t have any past trauma that I am hiding from…I freakin’ like the taste of food and different textures. I am obsessed with salt and need to cut down on my sugar. I have only been fat for about 6 years this has not been a lifelong struggle and intellectually I know what I need to do. She said she thinks it’s more to it….but she wanted to move on and not push it…..that was best for her. Between her and my doc I’m feeling a little ambushed and I’m gonna kick somebody’s ass…soon….so she felt the vibe and retreated.
My good friend Sarah told me about the biggest loser cookbook….am I a big loser ‘cause I can’t lose weight? Hahaha I pulled some recipes and will try them. She texted me this week and said she had the fried chicken from the book….can’t imagine fried chicken without the flour and lard, but I like to try new things so what the heck….
My cousin doctor Carol told me about Alli, I looked into it, it’s like antabuse for fat people. This pill has disturbing effects if you don’t take it right or eat properly….like you will poop on yourself….uh….I think not…..I’m liable to forget and be the “butt” of jokes and everything unnatural….I will stay with the eating right with low fat foods for now thank you.
Had a slight bit of drama as well….this person who will remain nameless because I cannot pay for a defamation lawsuit was providing a service for my family since I had my second surgery. Well….because we have moved our kids to a different school this hag cut the service off!! Didn’t even have the balls to tell me, the service people did!! No worries, the Hunley house is fine. I guess what bothers me is that I never asked this person to do this for me and now they believe they have the upper hand….they obviously don’t know me that well…hahaha…they need to read Isaiah 58:11 where it talks about how the Lord will always lead you OR Romans 12:2 where it states not to be like others and GOD will decide what is right for you OR 1 Peter 5:10 which tells me that after a point of suffering GOD who gives the grace will make everything right again OR James 5:16 and I quote “When a believing person prays, great things happen”. So while people are obviously still upset with me for making a decision about MY kids they feel they are hurting me by doing stupid s&%t like this….ok wallow in your wounds if you will I am moving up and on….SAVING MY LIFE……
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Girth...
So I go to the doctor and lady doc does my fills. Not too much pain, but I’ve got plenty gain. I am sore from the muscles stretching but what makes me laugh is seeing this 20 year old cleavage on a 40 something body….I will have perky boobs on a sagging butt….so 40 IS the new 20….hahahaha…..speaking of sag….my meeting with the nutritionist did not garner me any new information…carrots instead of cookies; fruit instead of fructose; cauliflower instead of chips. What she did do that my other nutritionist didn’t was ask me to analyze my relationship with food. Analyze? My job is to analyze organizations and people, but food? I took a long time to answer her because I didn’t know how to answer and at that point she was looking like an Oreo...double stuff. I thought ok, I have a palette and I feed it what it wants….that’s the extent of my analysis…she told me to come back next week with a more authentic answer….I don’t like her…
What I did learn was that the choices I make about food today will determine the girth of my ass tomorrow. Is that my analysis? I think not. I could give that to her but something tells me it won’t fly….it’s supposed to be an analysis, my soliloquy sounds like a big purposeful joke….hahahaha…..I’ll sleep on it.
So as I ponder my relationship with food I cannot help but wonder what I will look like after my reconstruction is done. I am swollen, sore and uncomfortable right now but knowing that this is temporary is my consolation. I am not particularly vain but I do not want to look like a cro-magnoid either. So I need to get up off the couch, not eat chips and ice cream and …….SAVE MY LIFE……
***If anyone has some tips for procrastination, please send them with love***
What I did learn was that the choices I make about food today will determine the girth of my ass tomorrow. Is that my analysis? I think not. I could give that to her but something tells me it won’t fly….it’s supposed to be an analysis, my soliloquy sounds like a big purposeful joke….hahahaha…..I’ll sleep on it.
So as I ponder my relationship with food I cannot help but wonder what I will look like after my reconstruction is done. I am swollen, sore and uncomfortable right now but knowing that this is temporary is my consolation. I am not particularly vain but I do not want to look like a cro-magnoid either. So I need to get up off the couch, not eat chips and ice cream and …….SAVE MY LIFE……
***If anyone has some tips for procrastination, please send them with love***
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Healthy everything....
Some weeks ago I realized that I would not be able to participate in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, 3 day walk here in Phoenix because it will conflict with my 3rd year residency for school. Just as that happened I received and email from my dear friend Annitra who will do the 3 day walk in North Carolina and I am ecstatic.....that's how GOD works. When I can't do something, I have a friend who will pick up the slack. When I couldn't do grocery shopping I had Yolande, Valerie, Cindy, Dena and Lyssette to do it for us....when I couldn't take my son to choir, Margaret was there and oh my goodness the many meals, gift cards and home cleanings we received.....what a blessing.
So as I dump my trash and hold dear my treasures I am reminded that GOD'S love is transcendent and when people love you they do for you when asked and sometimes just instinctively know what you need. I didn't have to ask Annitra to do the walk for me, she knew it is a great cause and she's stepping in. That's the love shining through from a real girlfriend....friendship to me is like a good hairstyle....whether your grow it or buy it, if it's healthy then it's for me.
Speaking of healthy....I will meet with a nutritionist this week, she will go through healthy eating patterns with me, tell me the good vs bad carbs, go through the benefits of veggies and fruits, send me home with sample menus, wink and tell me to drink more water. If it sounds like I've done this before it's because I have. Intellectually, I know what I need to do to reduce the fat in my ass, but potato chips, martini's and cookies have a hold on me. I have been trying to break free for about 6 years now and they keep finding me. They hide behind the broccoli and call my name when I open the fridge. They are in the snack cabinet and do a little dance when I crack it open. They even find their way into my purse when I go to the convenience store. I must have a talk with myself before I go into my meeting or else I will be tempted to get a Reese's cup on the way home....
So as I enter a new week this morning I read 1Corinthians 13,8, 13 which reminds me faith, hope and love continue forever and the greatest of these is love, so with that I begin a promise that I will consciously be healthy inside and out loving myself while SAVING MY LIFE.....
If you would like to send a donation to Annitra Gwarzo please make sure to enter her name in the memo portion of the check and make all checks payable to:
Komen NC Triangle AffiliateMail
133 Fayetteville Street Suite 300 Raleigh, NC, 27601
So as I dump my trash and hold dear my treasures I am reminded that GOD'S love is transcendent and when people love you they do for you when asked and sometimes just instinctively know what you need. I didn't have to ask Annitra to do the walk for me, she knew it is a great cause and she's stepping in. That's the love shining through from a real girlfriend....friendship to me is like a good hairstyle....whether your grow it or buy it, if it's healthy then it's for me.
Speaking of healthy....I will meet with a nutritionist this week, she will go through healthy eating patterns with me, tell me the good vs bad carbs, go through the benefits of veggies and fruits, send me home with sample menus, wink and tell me to drink more water. If it sounds like I've done this before it's because I have. Intellectually, I know what I need to do to reduce the fat in my ass, but potato chips, martini's and cookies have a hold on me. I have been trying to break free for about 6 years now and they keep finding me. They hide behind the broccoli and call my name when I open the fridge. They are in the snack cabinet and do a little dance when I crack it open. They even find their way into my purse when I go to the convenience store. I must have a talk with myself before I go into my meeting or else I will be tempted to get a Reese's cup on the way home....
So as I enter a new week this morning I read 1Corinthians 13,8, 13 which reminds me faith, hope and love continue forever and the greatest of these is love, so with that I begin a promise that I will consciously be healthy inside and out loving myself while SAVING MY LIFE.....
If you would like to send a donation to Annitra Gwarzo please make sure to enter her name in the memo portion of the check and make all checks payable to:
Komen NC Triangle AffiliateMail
133 Fayetteville Street Suite 300 Raleigh, NC, 27601
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Continued patience.....
Yesterday lady doc took care of me and was just as gentle as she had been previously. Now, her hubby is a “gentle” giant but simplicity is not his forte!! I am up to 350 cc’s and I have a semblance of a cleavage. I am feeling a little “womanly” teeheehee.......
So as my kids’ transition to summer activities I too continue to transition. Lately, I am feeling more discomfort and lady doc told me yesterday that it is to be expected. The more you stretch the muscle the more the body will resist and thus the source of the discomfort. Puberty wasn’t cute at 13 and it’s certainly not cute now…..but this time around it’s a necessary evil. She did try to tell me to skip a week if it gets to be too much but compared to the actual healing from the surgery this is a piece of cake!! In addition, it will put me back for my last surgery and that is not an option. As long as Percocet is available I will continue my weekly appointments….Forge ahead is what I told her!!
Lately I have been reflective of the treasures and trash in my life. Of course treasures include family and friends and I am finding the trash includes anger, disappointment and frustration. It also includes s@*t that just annoys me!! Like the song says….be patient with me, GOD is not through with me yet!! At the urging of my sister friend and coach Gina I am creating collages to remove the trash and keep the treasures in the spotlight…..
I read James 1:2-4 today and it teaches me that patience will show itself in everything you do; with patience you will have everything you need……and patience is SAVING MY LIFE…..
So as my kids’ transition to summer activities I too continue to transition. Lately, I am feeling more discomfort and lady doc told me yesterday that it is to be expected. The more you stretch the muscle the more the body will resist and thus the source of the discomfort. Puberty wasn’t cute at 13 and it’s certainly not cute now…..but this time around it’s a necessary evil. She did try to tell me to skip a week if it gets to be too much but compared to the actual healing from the surgery this is a piece of cake!! In addition, it will put me back for my last surgery and that is not an option. As long as Percocet is available I will continue my weekly appointments….Forge ahead is what I told her!!
Lately I have been reflective of the treasures and trash in my life. Of course treasures include family and friends and I am finding the trash includes anger, disappointment and frustration. It also includes s@*t that just annoys me!! Like the song says….be patient with me, GOD is not through with me yet!! At the urging of my sister friend and coach Gina I am creating collages to remove the trash and keep the treasures in the spotlight…..
I read James 1:2-4 today and it teaches me that patience will show itself in everything you do; with patience you will have everything you need……and patience is SAVING MY LIFE…..
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